Benefit in Lowering the gaze #4

Ten Benefits in Lowering the Gaze (Benefit Four)

Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله mentioned in his Book “The Disease and the Cure“:

The fourth benefit is that it strengthens the heart and brings it joy just as unleashing one’s gaze weakens it and brings it sorrow.

Shaykh ‘Abdurrazzāq Al-Badr explains this point by saying:

This joy that Ibnul Qayyim speaks about is also a tremendous affair.

قُلْ بِفَضْلِ ٱللَّهِ وَبِرَحْمَتِهِۧ فَبِذَٰلِكَ فَلْيَفْرَحُواۡ…

“Say: “In the Bounty of Allāh, and in His Mercy (i.e. Islām and the Qur’ān); therein let them rejoice.”… [10:58]

When Allāh honors the obedient and he finds in himself tremendous strength in lowering his gaze, he becomes joyed with this bounty. He tastes the sweetness that the one who unleashes his gaze doesn’t taste.

So, he strengthens his heart and as a result it becomes joyed. As opposed to the one who unleashed his gaze. The heart becomes weak, grieved and diseased.

End of Speech

Bārak Allah Fīkum,

Taalib Team

telegram.me/taalibco

Benefit of lowering the gaze #2

Ten Benefits in Lowering the Gaze (Benefit Two)

Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله mentioned in his Book “The Disease and the Cure“:

The second benefit is that it prevents the effects of the poisonous arrow, that perhaps could be the destruction to his heart.

Shaykh ‘Abdurrazzāq Al-Badr explains this point by saying:

The sight is a poisonous arrow that poisons the heart and inflicts it with illness. Many hearts are afflicted with diseases due to the sight; looking at the impermissible until it posions his heart and it becomes diseased. So, from its benefits is that it prevents this poison from entering the heart.

End of Speech

Bārak Allah Fīkum,

Taalib Team

telegram.me/taalibco

Benefit of lowering the gaze #1

◾ Ten Benefits in Lowering the Gaze (Benefit One) ◾

Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله mentioned in his Book “The Disease and the Cure”:

The first benefit is that it is implementing the command of Allāh, which is the utmost bliss for the slave in his life and his Hereafter. So, there is nothing for the slave in his worldly life and his Hereafter, more beneficial than implementing the commands of his Lord, the Blessed and Most High. And there is no bliss in this worldly life and the Hereafter except by implementing His commands and there is no wretchedness in this worldly life and the Hereafter except by neglecting His commands.

Shaykh ‘Abdurrazzāq Al-Badr explains this point by saying:

This is the first benefit of lowering the gaze. And Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله enumerated several and they are tremendous. However, he began with this one because it is the core and the essence of the matter, which is that it is act of worship to gain nearness to Allāh.

This is because lowering the gaze is an act of obedience to Allāh , implementing the command of Allāh. So whoever lowers his gaze for the sake of Allāh, then this is an act of worship to gain nearness to Allāh that Allāh will reward him tremendously for, by rectifying his heart and making it free from evil and different types of diseases.

So, from the benefits of lowering the gaze and not unleashing it is that it is implementing the command of Allāh.

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things…” (24:30)

“Tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things)…” (24:31)

This is what He has commanded with. So, if the individual lowers his gaze, then this is an act of obedience from him towards his Lord and Master.

End of Speech

Bārak Allah Fīkum,

Taalib Team

telegram.me/taalibco

Souls seek out who they are inclined towards.

In explanation of the supplication for entering toilet, Shaykh Uthaymeen (rahimahullah) brought the following benefit.

It is said that the place for relieving oneself is dirty, and every place which is similar is the abode of the shayateen, due to His statement The Most High, 

الْخَبِيثَاتُ لِلْخَبِيثِينَ وَالْخَبِيثُونَ لِلْخَبِيثَاتِ 

Bad statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for bad statements (or bad men for bad women). (1)

In explanation of this ayah, Imam as-Sadi (rahimahullah) said, “Every evil man and woman, statement and action is fitting, in agreement and similar to each other.” (2)

And this is from the wisdom of Allah, that he has made the evil souls incline to each other. And the righteous souls incline to each other, due to this the place of the angels is the masaajid, the masaajid are righteous places and their purpose is for the worship of Allah. 


Ad-Duroos al-Fiqhiyya min al-Muhaadaraat al-Jaami’eeyah Slightly Paraphrased 

(1) An-Noor:26 Translation by Muhsin Khan

(2) Tayseer al Kareem ar Rahman pg.658

Attaining justice in a Polygamous relationship▪

بســـم اللــه الرحــمــن الـرحـــيــم

▪Attaining justice in a Polygamous relationship▪

📩 Question:

The questioner says: How is justice [attained] between the second and first wife?

📝 Answer:

It begins with him spending three nights with the new wife as soon as he marries her; if she’s not a virgin, or seven nights; if she’s a virgin. And there is no allotment (sharing out days equally) between the two wives in this period, as proven by the Hadeeth of Anas ibn Maalik, may Allaah be pleased with him, who said: “[It’s] from the Sunnah [that] when a man marries a virgin he remains with her seven[nights], then [after those seven nights] he begins alloting. And when he marries a non-virgin he remains with her three[nights] and then begins alloting”.
[Reported by Bukhari and Muslim]

Then after this, the allotment begins with alternate nights (one night on, one night off for each) as was the practice of the Prophet ﷺ.

And the basis of allotment here returns back to nights. As for the daytime, then he remains with his wives according to his work schedule; he might have work on one of the wive’s turns, meaning he can only stay with her briefly and/or when his work permits. However, he’s not allowed to deliberately assign work on days belonging to one of them so as to avoid spending time with them.

He must not pursue this, rather it must be left to Allaah’s decree (i.e. whoever’s allotment the work coincides with). What’s more, during the daytime he should remain with the wife whose turn it is. But he’s allowed to make short visits to the other wife, be it the first or the second. So if he is with the first, he’s allowed to visit the second, and if it’s the second wife’s turn, he’s allowed to visit the first; a short visit in order to check up on them; for the Prophet ﷺ would visit his wives after ‘Asr (the late afternoon prayer) without engaging in any sexual intercourse – but merely to check up on them, without prolonging his visit ﷺ.

And it’s not permissible for the husband to have sexual intercourse with any of his wives within the [alloted time] day/night of the other, because this is one of her rights, so he’s not allowed to visit the latter [within the former’s allotment] and have sexual intercourse with her.

And it’s all the same, whether the allotment begins at nightfall; as was the practice of the prophet ﷺ, such that the daytime follows on from the previous [night], or whether the allotment begins after salaatul-fajr, such that the night follows on from the day. Both are permissible, although the preferred method is that of the prophet ﷺ; in that the allotment begins at nightfall and includes the day after.

It’s also permissible to start the allotment after salatul-dhuhr, when the sun reaches its zenith. In other words, each wife should be given the same allotment; one day and one night, or more than that, provided the two wives consent to that; like two or three nights each; this might be useful for him if his houses are far apart; he might [even] need to allocate more time. So in general, he should not add without consulting his wives.

Unless [coming to an agreement] is too burdensome upon him, in which case [he opts for something suitable], and there’s no harm as this is also a form of justice, even if one of them disapproves. If it’s too burdensome for him [to appease both], then the goal is maintain justice, and justice is attained [by giving them equal time], whether its two, three or more nights each. However, the allotment must not be so extensive as to cause harm to any of the women.

Furthermore, when one of the wives becomes sick, he must not go and have intercourse with the other wife, this is a mistake. It’s not permissible for you to go to the other wife becuase this one is unwell, rather you [must] remain with her on her night, consoling her upon her sickness, and in doing so she will become more cheerful. Whereas, deserting her at this time and going to spend time with the other wife is not permissible for you, and this is a form of oppression.

Likewise, it’s not

permissible for him to be crafty when it comes to allocating time whereby he gives one less time than the other. So for example, the allotment ends with one of them, so he says, “lets start the allotment anew” [so it starts again from the one whose turn just ended]. This is a form of oppression.

And if he has to travel and leave his wives behind, then upon his return, he has to continue from where he left off. So if he travelled when this one’s turn came to an end, he has to restart with the other one. And the main thing to take note of here is nights. So if he set out before nightfall, the one whose night it was would not have had her share, so when he returns he has to give her share. So for example, if he stayed in his residence from Fajr to Asr, then unexpectedly he has to travel just before maghrib, he would have been with that wife throughout daytime (i.e. From sunrise to sunset), nonetheless, nights carry more significance, so upon his return he spends a night with her becuase he owes her a night.

And if he intends to travel with one wife, even though both have already agreed to take turns in accompanying him on his travels, then he should still clarify to them the journey’s duration so as to avoid any injustices/unfairness. Because one journey might take longer than another, hence, likely resulting in dispute. But if there’s mutual consent after knowing how long the journey will take, then there’s no harm. Although the preferred [method] in this matter is that of our Prophet ﷺ; drawing lots; he draws lots between them, and whoever comes out on top – he takes her with him.

And even if after spending a whole week with him, when they return, she goes back to her normal allotment, because that [time spent with him] was her fortune from the picking of lots.

And if he sets out on another journey, he draws lots once again. The turn doesn’t automatically fall to the second wife; the point of casting lots is not so that when he returns he gives the other wife the same as the first; so just because the first wife won the draw last time round, the next journey is automatically awarded to the other wife, No! Rather, the intent behind casting lots is that it is repeated for every journey, and that once he returns, he resumes the allotment from where he left off. So if he had set out on the turn of the same wife that accompanied him, he resumes with her from where the allotment stopped.

Similarly, he has to maintain justice when buying clothes and food. But in terms of essential expenditure and clothing, each one is given in accordance to her needs; essential clothing like if one of them doesn’t have enough to cover her ‘Awrah, or if one’s footwear becomes faulty, he buys her another pair. So all in all, the essential expenditure and clothing is in accordance to their needs. Equality is not required in this matter. For example, if one doesn’t have shoes and the other one does, he purchases a pair for the one in need and he’s not required to purchase a pair for the other one, unless she too is in need. So each wife is given her essential clothing and spending needs accordingly.

Another example is if one of the wife’s garments becomes ripped, leaving her with only a dress or two and she’s greatly in need of an extra garment, there’s no harm in him buying an extra garment for her. This is not an issue of equality (i.e. he doesn’t have to now go and buy his other wife an extra dress aswell). The same goes for any essential expenditures. For example, the first wife has four or five children while the other hasn’t except a child or two, here he would have to spend more on the first wife. There’s no doubt that he has to spend more accordingly. [Another example], one of them becomes sick and needs medication while the other is fit and healthy, this one can’t turn around and say, “You bought medication for her, so buy me fruits”!! She has no right to do so. And [the same] regarding home appliances and the like, so long as the need is urgent there’s no problem. If one wife’s needs are met, he can buy essentials for the one in  need.

As for nonessentials; surplus clothing and expenses – which are known as luxuries – including gifts, it’s incumbent upon him to observe equality. Justice had to be observed with regards to surplus expenses for one’s wives, and the same applies to the children; [as the Prophet ﷺ said:] “Fear Allaah and treat your children equally”.

Also on Eid, people have become accustomed to [buying new] clothes, but this doesn’t mean it’s incumbent for the husband [to do so], except if the wife is in need. However, the norm is that she gets clothes, especially if she wants some and she didn’t get any all year round; it’s desirable that he buys her clothes (in this case). But as far as it being (wajib) mandatory, then this is only if there’s a need; only then does it become wajib upon him.

Similarly, some husbands get treats from the market for one/some of his wives. It’s wajib for him to be just between them in this regard also.

And regarding [hosting] guests, then it should be coincide with whoever’s turn it is. He shouldn’t seek to always host them at [the home of] one of the wives, rationalising this by saying: “this one, mashallaah, has more endurance over hard work”. No, he shouldn’t seek to do this!

Also, with accommodation, what’s wajib upon him is as previously mentioned, i.e. Satisfying their [essential] needs. If it happened that he housed his first wife in a spacious accommodation, then afterwards he marries a second wife and houses her in a smaller accommodation, she would have no right to demand a more spacious house like that of the first; as she had that beforehand.

And if one of them is a student of knowledge, there’s no harm in him taking her out in order for her to benefit other women in the surrounding areas – provided it’s not a travelling distance (Safar), and the time spent together would count towards her allotment. As for travelling distance, then he is not allowed to travel with her until lots are drawn [or after coming to an agreement with the rest of the wives]. So he can take her out to benefit other women on her allotted time provided it’s not a travelling distance, and this would count towards her turn. Furthermore, the intent in these excursions must not be for pleasure and enjoyment, but rather to benefit the people.

If the intent was for pleasure and enjoyment, he would have to take out the other wife out aswell on a different occasion so that she too may enjoy.

And if – after marrying a second – he buys gold or clothes for the first wife in order to appease her, then this fine. There’s no harm in seeking to appease her in this case, becuase women – as is well known – become severely heartbroken when their husbands marry over them. So it’s good that he seeks to appease her through [gifting the likes of] gold or clothes. And it seems like if he does this early on and informs the new wife about it, she won’t be too fussed. But if he delays, then later he seeks to appease [the first wife with gold or clothes], the second wife will also demand her right to equality.

And praise be to Allaah, and may peace and blessings be upon the messenger of Allaah, his family, his companions and those who follow him.


Translated by:
Abu Jabal Haidar Al-Haatimi

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Original Fatwa:
https://t.me/ibnhezam/6927

Money spent on your family

A DINĀR YOU SPENT ON YOUR FAMILY

One should only refrain from marriage if he fears that he might not be able to fulfill her rights. Bearing the burden of wife and children is like jihād in Allāh’s path.

It occurs in the collection of Muslim that the Prophet (ﷺ) said:

“A dinār you spent in Allāh’s path, a dinār you spent to free a slave, a dinār you gave as charity to a poor person, and a dinār you spent on your family- the best of them is the one you spent on your family.” *

* Muslim #995 on the authority of Abū Hurayrah (radiyAllāhu’anhu)

Book: The Refinement Of Character

By Imām Ibn Qudāmah al-Maqdīsī

Translated and Published by

Dār as-Sunnah Publishers

P. 23

Knowing your level

Ash-Sha’bi rahimahu’allāh was asked about a matter and said “I do not know”.

It was said to him: “Aren’t you ashamed from your statement: I do not know, and you are the faqīh of Iraq?”

He replied: “The Angels were not ashamed when they said:

‘We have no knowledge except what you have taught us’.” [Sūrah al-Baqarah (2): 32]

[I’lām al-Muwaqqi’īn (167/4)]

This post comes in as a benefit, because many of us who have more than one wife see it as a benefit to us and we subject our will unto our wives. This is erroneous at best!!

Indeed we need to know if we are speaking to our wives about an affair, we should speak from knowledge and refrain when we don’t know. We only call them to that which is from our Lord Allaah that He sent with His prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه و سلّم. Other than that, be mindful that the angels record our speech and actions. And we should encourage them to call us to account for what we are not doing correct as well or lack information about if they know. For indeed the Muslim wife is a partner to us and half of our religion.

Al-Haakim narrated in al-Mustadrak from Anas, in a marfoo’ report: “Whomever Allaah blesses with a righteous wife, He has helped him with half of his religion, so let him fear Allaah with regard to the other half.”

Al-Bayhaqi narrated in Shu’ab al-Eemaan from al-Raqaashi: “When a person gets married he has completed half of his religion, so let him fear Allaah with regard to the other half.” Al-Albaani said of these two hadeeths in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb (1916): “(They are) hasan li ghayrihi.”